I have probably said this 1000 times. I think I have S.A.D. If you don't know what that is, it isn't an STD or nasty viral infection....although I think I would actually prefer if it was. It is in fact this altered state of mind that I can't seem to shake off. I wouldn't quite say that I am experiencing clinical depression and about to top myself...although I have often talked about the perfect way to committ suicide and feel quite happy with my choice should I need to use it.
The added stress of my dissertation hanging over my head is not helping either. I have about 3 weeks to complete it and couldn't be further from finishing. I have put more effort into drinking sessions than work. That may even be a sign of depression? the constant need to drink? or maybe i'm just your average 22 yr old male entering the busy christmas drinking season, who knows.
I can't believe it, i've wrote more in 5 minutes for my blog than I have done for my dissertation in two weeks. That has just made me even more depressed. And reading back on this post....it sounds fucking depressing.
Don't worry, this isn't a cry for help, althought if it was it would probably be very similar, lol. I hope this hasn't depressed anyone else who reads it.
D
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Monday, 10 November 2008
LA
Fucking rain. Shit weather. Just had to get that off my chest.
Quite a major thing has just happened. I Haven't had a job for the past 3 years, i'm live solely on borrowed money, I am currently in the busiest term of my academic career to date (final year + dissertation deadline in December) and i've just come back from 3 months in Australia. So myself and James have decided to book flights to LA for a 3 day mini holiday. I'm gonna be so broke when I come back, but i'm really looking forward to it now and pretty sure it will be worth it.
That's all for now, just a mini update. I'm off to uni now - feels like it is about 6pm looking out of the window - its 1130 am :-(
D
Quite a major thing has just happened. I Haven't had a job for the past 3 years, i'm live solely on borrowed money, I am currently in the busiest term of my academic career to date (final year + dissertation deadline in December) and i've just come back from 3 months in Australia. So myself and James have decided to book flights to LA for a 3 day mini holiday. I'm gonna be so broke when I come back, but i'm really looking forward to it now and pretty sure it will be worth it.
That's all for now, just a mini update. I'm off to uni now - feels like it is about 6pm looking out of the window - its 1130 am :-(
D
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Impromptu fancy dress
Last night I went to a fancy dress party...not dressed up of course. It was the party of my mate's brother who is in his first year at acting school. So the guests took dressing up WAY too seriously and i subsequently felt like an absolute twat looking normal. Myself and my mate Alex decided to raid his brothers cupboard (full of fancy dress outfits strangely) and dress up.
Alex managed to bag the monk outfit which looked pretty good, while i had to mix and match anything else i could find. I don't even know half the words to describe the exotic things I was wearing but it included some sort of eye mask and an old man's flat cap. Pictures will be circulated soon no doubt.
On another note, everyone knows that the good nights out are always unplanned or at least unexpected (which is why NYE is always so shit!). So what better thing to do than go to a bar on your own for two hours in central London on a Saturday night and see what happens. Welcome to pointless bent.
Alex managed to bag the monk outfit which looked pretty good, while i had to mix and match anything else i could find. I don't even know half the words to describe the exotic things I was wearing but it included some sort of eye mask and an old man's flat cap. Pictures will be circulated soon no doubt.
On another note, everyone knows that the good nights out are always unplanned or at least unexpected (which is why NYE is always so shit!). So what better thing to do than go to a bar on your own for two hours in central London on a Saturday night and see what happens. Welcome to pointless bent.
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
The North
Time to blog it up again. Me and a friend went up to "the north" on Friday to visit a mate for the weekend. We debated megabus, train and even flying up (same price as train!) but eventually settled for my citroen saxo.
The traffic started a few miles north of London.
But it was ok, we had two ipods (one fully charged) a banana and some dried apricots to last me until my first service break - keeping it healthy after a midnight snack the previous night. Me and two other friends shared a family meal deal from a local chicken shop and my share consisted of :
- 3 pieces of fried chicken
-4 spicy wings
-1 chicken burger
-1 portion of chips
A RIDICULOUS amount of food for one person, normally I am satisfied with just the bloody chicken burger for gods sake!
Anyway. As we set off I made it clear to my passenger that we were going to stop for a toilet break soonish as i was desperate for a slash and hungry! We hit several severe tailbacks, but myself and James had enough banter to last. Including the debate of where the North actually starts. Apparently some people in Grimsby and Lincoln actually consider themselves southerners (wishful thinking!).
Just under 7 hours, 3 major traffic jams and NO toilet break later we arrived in Teeside. A nightmare journey but after a cold can of fosters and bowl spaghetti bolognaise prepared by Alex's wife I soon forgot all about it.
The weekend was pretty good! The house is nice, the pubs were good and we actually had a mattress each to sleep on - I was fully expecting a bare wooden floor, which to be honest I have now become very accustomed to.
There was some very good banter as usual but im struggling to remember it all right now. One that sticks in mind is James pretending he is an American on an "excursion" or something to get girls to take our picture. It worked well until a polish (yes polish girl in teeside - what are the chances) questioned his actions.
Drive back was fine - 4 hours, I micro-slept most of the way.
The next blog will probably document the strangest night of my life so far....Pointless bent. Check regularly to find out more!
The traffic started a few miles north of London.
But it was ok, we had two ipods (one fully charged) a banana and some dried apricots to last me until my first service break - keeping it healthy after a midnight snack the previous night. Me and two other friends shared a family meal deal from a local chicken shop and my share consisted of :
- 3 pieces of fried chicken
-4 spicy wings
-1 chicken burger
-1 portion of chips
A RIDICULOUS amount of food for one person, normally I am satisfied with just the bloody chicken burger for gods sake!
Anyway. As we set off I made it clear to my passenger that we were going to stop for a toilet break soonish as i was desperate for a slash and hungry! We hit several severe tailbacks, but myself and James had enough banter to last. Including the debate of where the North actually starts. Apparently some people in Grimsby and Lincoln actually consider themselves southerners (wishful thinking!).
Just under 7 hours, 3 major traffic jams and NO toilet break later we arrived in Teeside. A nightmare journey but after a cold can of fosters and bowl spaghetti bolognaise prepared by Alex's wife I soon forgot all about it.
The weekend was pretty good! The house is nice, the pubs were good and we actually had a mattress each to sleep on - I was fully expecting a bare wooden floor, which to be honest I have now become very accustomed to.
There was some very good banter as usual but im struggling to remember it all right now. One that sticks in mind is James pretending he is an American on an "excursion" or something to get girls to take our picture. It worked well until a polish (yes polish girl in teeside - what are the chances) questioned his actions.
Drive back was fine - 4 hours, I micro-slept most of the way.
The next blog will probably document the strangest night of my life so far....Pointless bent. Check regularly to find out more!
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Unacceptable
WOW, it's been a while since my last blog. So if I did have any regular reader's (unlikely) i'm pretty sure u have all moved on to bigger and better blogs.
Quick catch up. Got back from Australia, all went well, no jet lag, back at uni, started dissertation (not going well), fully re-immersed in the male orientated, unadulterated banter that I missed so much while on the other side of the world with 3 girls (no offence to the girls, they had some good bent at times).
What inspired me to write this entry was a night out last Friday at a local pub that my friends and I refer to regularly as a "shit hole", even the regulars would probably agree. We only went there because the DJ at our preferred bar across the road forced us out by playing shocking 70's disco music (not even the good stuff).
Anyway, we get in...all gettin ID'd of courfse despite all of us being well over the age of 17 years and 365 days. We get in, order a pint from the pretty Irish bar lady blah blah blah. About 3 pints later i'm standing at the bar when I catch out of the corner of my eye a very disturbed looking James as he utter's the word's "unacceptable" to his reflection in the mirror.
Now this happened 3 days ago now and I'd had a bit to drink so can't exactly remember the details of why this was said or what was said afterwards. Luckily, I thought of this at the time and wrote down key words and phrases as a text on my phone. Unfortunately, I have no idea what it all means now so thought I would just transcribe the text here and let u interpret is as you wish....
"Mirror. Unacceptable. Then sideburns that are unacceptable. She is a fat bitch. Write blog. It was as if I lived in Notre Dame. Pock Mark. You don't look bad mate. It's a ladies night and the feelings right. Where are you cow boy. Whatever I got i'm glad my girlfriend aint here. Fuck off. I can't see"
That is all word for word and I'm pretty sure each line is a separate incident. After "you don't look bad mate" - which I think is me consoling James after him calling his reflection unacceptable - I dont know what I was documenting. But it sounds funny. And the "girlfriend" bit is really confusing cos none of those who were present actually have girlfriends at the moment....
I'll update in another post if I find out what any of the text actually means.
Quick catch up. Got back from Australia, all went well, no jet lag, back at uni, started dissertation (not going well), fully re-immersed in the male orientated, unadulterated banter that I missed so much while on the other side of the world with 3 girls (no offence to the girls, they had some good bent at times).
What inspired me to write this entry was a night out last Friday at a local pub that my friends and I refer to regularly as a "shit hole", even the regulars would probably agree. We only went there because the DJ at our preferred bar across the road forced us out by playing shocking 70's disco music (not even the good stuff).
Anyway, we get in...all gettin ID'd of courfse despite all of us being well over the age of 17 years and 365 days. We get in, order a pint from the pretty Irish bar lady blah blah blah. About 3 pints later i'm standing at the bar when I catch out of the corner of my eye a very disturbed looking James as he utter's the word's "unacceptable" to his reflection in the mirror.
Now this happened 3 days ago now and I'd had a bit to drink so can't exactly remember the details of why this was said or what was said afterwards. Luckily, I thought of this at the time and wrote down key words and phrases as a text on my phone. Unfortunately, I have no idea what it all means now so thought I would just transcribe the text here and let u interpret is as you wish....
"Mirror. Unacceptable. Then sideburns that are unacceptable. She is a fat bitch. Write blog. It was as if I lived in Notre Dame. Pock Mark. You don't look bad mate. It's a ladies night and the feelings right. Where are you cow boy. Whatever I got i'm glad my girlfriend aint here. Fuck off. I can't see"
That is all word for word and I'm pretty sure each line is a separate incident. After "you don't look bad mate" - which I think is me consoling James after him calling his reflection unacceptable - I dont know what I was documenting. But it sounds funny. And the "girlfriend" bit is really confusing cos none of those who were present actually have girlfriends at the moment....
I'll update in another post if I find out what any of the text actually means.
Saturday, 6 September 2008
Catch Up
It's my second last week here and I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I'm getting to that time of my placement where I am reaching absolute breaking point. My supervisor has said how being a student is the toughest part of your career, which helps a little i guess. But what doesn't help is the girl i'm sharing my placment with being a absolute depressing wreck, complaining how tired, bored and home sick she is every morning on the way to work. Its beginning to drag me down too.
Anyway im trying my best to ignore it and its working so far. Have done a couple interesting things while i've not been blogging but i'm tired so will bullet point them and u can google them if u want to know more general details:
1. Did the Great Ocean Road...was pretty good but more of a summer thing
2. Did wine tasting in the Yarra Valley...amazing scenery and good wine (i'm told)
3. The Nutrition Department at my hospital put on a big "Celebrity Chef" day each year for the a group of lucky patients. This year it was a Beijing Olympic special so a couple of the medal winners turned up as guests. I got to hold the Olympic silver medal of one of the rowers which was good. But what was even better was when he said that they were leading for the first 1900m and the Team GB beat them to gold becuase they "lacked the power". Haha. Plus I got to eat two courses of the meal which was by far the best food I have tasted in my life (no exaggeration) - Seven score Wagyu beef = very nice!
4.. Its finally spring so im getting happier by the day...possibly even a trip to the beach by the weekend but that might be a little too optimistic.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Landmark day
It finally happened. I'm surprised it took 6 weeks, especially in a cancer hospital. My first patient has died. Nothing to do with me (i think), but still this is a landmark in my career.
As for other patient's i've been insulted left right and centre. One patient complained about my british "speech impediment" accent after I said vitamin instead of vite-a-min and brocolli instead of broc-o-lie. And another patient described me to others as the short male dietitian (im 5ft 11 for god's sake)
I hope no more of my patients die cos that means I get new ones and initial assessments are such a pain!
As for other patient's i've been insulted left right and centre. One patient complained about my british "speech impediment" accent after I said vitamin instead of vite-a-min and brocolli instead of broc-o-lie. And another patient described me to others as the short male dietitian (im 5ft 11 for god's sake)
I hope no more of my patients die cos that means I get new ones and initial assessments are such a pain!
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Sydney...Work
Its been a while since my last blog and for once its not because i've been doing nothing. I have been so busy that I've been working non-stop. Its 11pm and i've just finished writing a draft of a presentation I have to do at work. Its crap but i really dont care any more. I thought i'd squeeze out a quick blog update before I head to bed anyway. Im very tired so excuse any spelling mistakes/general shit that I say.
I went to Sydney for the weekend and had a surprisingly good time. The weather was so good, comparable to a mild (but sunny) British Summer....and it's their winter!!!!! Somehow we were offered to stay at a random family's house right on the beach. It was the house of my friend's brother's girlfriend's parent's. That probably doesn't make sense but basically none of us had ever met before yet they were willing to let us stay at their house over the weekend. The house was amazing - right on the beach (literally backing onto it) and I had my own double bed with ensuite. They also cooked for us, bought all the food, bought us takeway on the following night and treated us to a restaurant meal by the beach on the following lunchtime. I couldn't believe how friendly and generous they were (it helped that they were absolutely loaded). Sydney is an amazing city too...im affraid to say a little better than Melbourne!
It was so difficult to go back to work on Monday. Especially with the work load they are giving me. I officially have my own case load of patients to review and follow up and i'm getting new referrals every day. I'm thinking of putting in a request to actually get paid for all the bloody work im doing.
Next weekend looks like a write off too in terms of catching up on paper work. We are finally going to rent a car and do the Great Ocean Road. Which also means I get to drive for the first time in Australia. I'm looking forward to driving for hours without seeing anything by the occasional wallabie (which i'll try to dodge).
D
I went to Sydney for the weekend and had a surprisingly good time. The weather was so good, comparable to a mild (but sunny) British Summer....and it's their winter!!!!! Somehow we were offered to stay at a random family's house right on the beach. It was the house of my friend's brother's girlfriend's parent's. That probably doesn't make sense but basically none of us had ever met before yet they were willing to let us stay at their house over the weekend. The house was amazing - right on the beach (literally backing onto it) and I had my own double bed with ensuite. They also cooked for us, bought all the food, bought us takeway on the following night and treated us to a restaurant meal by the beach on the following lunchtime. I couldn't believe how friendly and generous they were (it helped that they were absolutely loaded). Sydney is an amazing city too...im affraid to say a little better than Melbourne!
It was so difficult to go back to work on Monday. Especially with the work load they are giving me. I officially have my own case load of patients to review and follow up and i'm getting new referrals every day. I'm thinking of putting in a request to actually get paid for all the bloody work im doing.
Next weekend looks like a write off too in terms of catching up on paper work. We are finally going to rent a car and do the Great Ocean Road. Which also means I get to drive for the first time in Australia. I'm looking forward to driving for hours without seeing anything by the occasional wallabie (which i'll try to dodge).
D
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Olympics
GB are 3rd in the medals table. What is going on? One thing I do know is that this is seriously pissing off all Australians. They are massively passionate about the Olympics here its unbelievable. Plus they have a thing for bullying all Pommie Bastards (English) they meet. So Great Britain actually doing better than them is a big deal. I even found myself boasting to a aussie nurse about the two silvers GB won in the 10km swim (possibly the most boring and insignificant spectator sport to ever be shown on tv).
I was trying to find a Quantas Beijing advert they have been showing over here to post but can't. It is the most over-patriotic ad you have ever seen...it even has a woman crying at the end because she is so proud (just a little over the top).
I was trying to find a Quantas Beijing advert they have been showing over here to post but can't. It is the most over-patriotic ad you have ever seen...it even has a woman crying at the end because she is so proud (just a little over the top).
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Double dose
Just back from another meal out. This one was a bit strange as it was with my lecturer from the UK who has flown over to see how we are getting on. And she paid for the meal! We all did the standard "oh no u can't do that" but it was pretty obvious that no-one was reaching for their wallets in a hurry.
I just realised that i'll be doing the double winter this year and i'm really not looking forward to it. I can see myself looking very pale and depressed by the time January comes around. I'm really tempted to splash out and fly up to the great barrier reef in Queensland on the 5 days at the end of my placement...there is a good chance i'll be travelling on my own because the girl i am travelling back with is claiming poverty....but I think a couple days doing fuck all on my own, on the beach might do me good. Who knows.
Back to some more of that great aussie olympic coverage now...
I just realised that i'll be doing the double winter this year and i'm really not looking forward to it. I can see myself looking very pale and depressed by the time January comes around. I'm really tempted to splash out and fly up to the great barrier reef in Queensland on the 5 days at the end of my placement...there is a good chance i'll be travelling on my own because the girl i am travelling back with is claiming poverty....but I think a couple days doing fuck all on my own, on the beach might do me good. Who knows.
Back to some more of that great aussie olympic coverage now...
Monday, 18 August 2008
To my fellow bloggers...
I just thought i'd post a brief message to all my Lowlands bloggers. I just had a quick catch up all of your blogs and I am very impressed with the standard. High quality bent and even higher quality blogging. Good stuff and keep up the good work.
DJ
DJ
Imax
Forgot to mention in my last blog that I went to the I Max cinema here to see the new batman film. It was amazing, both the film and the cinema - the huge screen really does add to the experience. I walk past the I Max cinema in Waterloo every day on my way into uni but never bothered to go...its defintely worth it if you it's showing a good film. Heath Ledger was great as the Joker too.
I was so tired at work today I just couldn't be bothered to see any more patients. So i carefully chose the ones I did see to ensure I got all the sweet old ladies who like to chat. With one of them I managed to watch the Olympics and eat toffee sweets for 50 minutes (It should have taken me about 5 minutes). I felt a little guilty when one of the resident doctors came back 3 times but politely gave me more time to "educate" my patient. I think i'll head back tomorrow.
Also went to lunch today with all the dietitians as it was the bosses birthday. It's funny going to a restaurant with a big group of "foodies". As a group we don't actually order that healthily (I definitely don't). One thing I do notice is how some of the female dietitians eat....hardly making a dent on their meals while I sit there eyeing up every last bit that isn't eaten.
Anyway, i'm off to watch a bit more of the 24/7 coverage of the Olympics on 4 out of 9 available channels on my tv. I guess you don't realise it when its your own country, but the exclusive coverage of australian atheltes gets a little boring after a while.
D
I was so tired at work today I just couldn't be bothered to see any more patients. So i carefully chose the ones I did see to ensure I got all the sweet old ladies who like to chat. With one of them I managed to watch the Olympics and eat toffee sweets for 50 minutes (It should have taken me about 5 minutes). I felt a little guilty when one of the resident doctors came back 3 times but politely gave me more time to "educate" my patient. I think i'll head back tomorrow.
Also went to lunch today with all the dietitians as it was the bosses birthday. It's funny going to a restaurant with a big group of "foodies". As a group we don't actually order that healthily (I definitely don't). One thing I do notice is how some of the female dietitians eat....hardly making a dent on their meals while I sit there eyeing up every last bit that isn't eaten.
Anyway, i'm off to watch a bit more of the 24/7 coverage of the Olympics on 4 out of 9 available channels on my tv. I guess you don't realise it when its your own country, but the exclusive coverage of australian atheltes gets a little boring after a while.
D
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Shoot, shag or marry?
Hey! sorry for the shortage of blogs, i've had messages from angry fans complaining so thought I would squeeze in a quick blog before I head off to bed.
Its been a busy weekend! Finally the girls i'm here with are wanting to go out and drink. I think they have all realised how quickly the weeks are flying by and we want to make the most of our weekends. So we started by booking tickets to Sydney next weekend. They weren't exactly cheap but we all really wanted to go. It's meant to be completely different to Melbourne apparently, more comparable to London...we'll see!
I'm trying to think of some "critical moments" which I can reflect on in a blog but i'm really struggling.
I managed to really piss off one of the girls last night during a game of shoot, shag or marry. Just in case you aren't familiar with the game - you get given a choice of 3 people who you have to then say who you would shoot, shag or marry...simple. So, this girl isn't exactly my type so when her name came up in one of the rounds and I was a bit too quick at saying I would shoot her and shag/marry two other undesirables (I think one of the options was a man, lol). She took it a little too personally and I ended up with red wine on my trousers. It was ok as one of the other girls had white wine and was quick enough to splash a bit of that on my jeans too to "neutralize" the stain. By the way that doesn't work.
Anyway...i'm dreading this week at work. My lecturer is flying over from the UK with the sole purpose of assessing us to see how we are going! It's good to see my uni doesn't listen to all that shit about carbon footprints.
Its been a busy weekend! Finally the girls i'm here with are wanting to go out and drink. I think they have all realised how quickly the weeks are flying by and we want to make the most of our weekends. So we started by booking tickets to Sydney next weekend. They weren't exactly cheap but we all really wanted to go. It's meant to be completely different to Melbourne apparently, more comparable to London...we'll see!
I'm trying to think of some "critical moments" which I can reflect on in a blog but i'm really struggling.
I managed to really piss off one of the girls last night during a game of shoot, shag or marry. Just in case you aren't familiar with the game - you get given a choice of 3 people who you have to then say who you would shoot, shag or marry...simple. So, this girl isn't exactly my type so when her name came up in one of the rounds and I was a bit too quick at saying I would shoot her and shag/marry two other undesirables (I think one of the options was a man, lol). She took it a little too personally and I ended up with red wine on my trousers. It was ok as one of the other girls had white wine and was quick enough to splash a bit of that on my jeans too to "neutralize" the stain. By the way that doesn't work.
Anyway...i'm dreading this week at work. My lecturer is flying over from the UK with the sole purpose of assessing us to see how we are going! It's good to see my uni doesn't listen to all that shit about carbon footprints.
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Restaurant Reps
I've just heard that the weather back home is awful. Even though i'm not in the country, it still pisses me off. What is wrong with England? (that's not a rhetorical question)
This year I am missing a lads holiday to Tenerife, which is pretty crap to be honest. They provide stories which we all talk about for the entire year that follows and probably longer. Anyway, what made me think of this was my night out last night. We decided to go to Lygon street which is a massive street in Melbourne that is completely dominated by Italian restaurants and cafes.
What shocked me was that all the restaurants had "Reps" outside trying to get you into the restaurants by offering free drinks and bread! Just like the strip in any one of the generic spanish island resorts. Even worse is that they were just as rude. When I asked one of the to skip the bread and give us a third free drink she barked at me "Don't try and bargain with me honey". I thought that was the idea!
The next one tried a similar line with the 2 free drinks. We wanted to walk on a bit down the street and said we'd come back. As soon as we turn our backs he shouts at us to "never come back". Great customer service I thought. Turns out by that point we had reached the end of the strip and actually wanted to go back, lol.
Managed to find a restaurant eventually. Cheap too. Eating out is one of the cheapest things to do in Melbourne.
We kept putting off leaving the restaurant because we didn't want to walk through all the reps again. Eventually we built up the courage. They were just as agressive in their tatics. Even if I said I had eaten some of them even said I should eat again! The strange thing is I really don't think they were joking.
This year I am missing a lads holiday to Tenerife, which is pretty crap to be honest. They provide stories which we all talk about for the entire year that follows and probably longer. Anyway, what made me think of this was my night out last night. We decided to go to Lygon street which is a massive street in Melbourne that is completely dominated by Italian restaurants and cafes.
What shocked me was that all the restaurants had "Reps" outside trying to get you into the restaurants by offering free drinks and bread! Just like the strip in any one of the generic spanish island resorts. Even worse is that they were just as rude. When I asked one of the to skip the bread and give us a third free drink she barked at me "Don't try and bargain with me honey". I thought that was the idea!
The next one tried a similar line with the 2 free drinks. We wanted to walk on a bit down the street and said we'd come back. As soon as we turn our backs he shouts at us to "never come back". Great customer service I thought. Turns out by that point we had reached the end of the strip and actually wanted to go back, lol.
Managed to find a restaurant eventually. Cheap too. Eating out is one of the cheapest things to do in Melbourne.
We kept putting off leaving the restaurant because we didn't want to walk through all the reps again. Eventually we built up the courage. They were just as agressive in their tatics. Even if I said I had eaten some of them even said I should eat again! The strange thing is I really don't think they were joking.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Cream Pie
Long time no blog. Not sure why I haven't been blogging it up like I intended. Been really busy with work and trying to do all the touristy things on the weekend.
To be honest, i'm not a fan of doing all of this cultural stuff around the city...once you've seen one art gallery you've pretty much seen them all. Many people would probably disagree I know, but its boring!
We went to the zoo last weekend which was ok. The highlight had to be when one of the baboons literally raped another baboon right in front of us. You're probably thinking that's nothing I haven't seen on the BBC half a dozen times before (maybe?). It was until the recipient baboon/victim turned around that I and the 4 young families around me got the shock of their lives. Lets just say it gives a new meaning to the phrase "cream pie", and it wasn't pleasant. And it only took the rapist baboon about 3 seconds too!!
Anyway. Work. Been seeing a lot of patients. Most of them making my life a living hell. So far i've had to try taking a diet history on a patient with short term memory loss (it didn't last long!) , talk to a guy who, reported in the notes, "dislikes" dietitians.......and probably worst of all I said to a terminally ill patient imminent to death "get well soon". I felt bloody stupid and the patient didn't look too happy either.
On a lighter note i thought i'd share a link to an advert i've seen about 100 times on the tv over here and it annoys the f**k out of me every time I see it. Its for Australian Idol and goes to show that they have just as many freaks over here too. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkrPc_FZHbA
The ones that get me most are: The guy at 12 seconds, 25 seconds, 27 seconds, 36 seconds, 39 seconds and 46 seconds...oh and of course the woman at 50 seconds. Take your pick, I know which one annoys me most (25 seconds ginger guy, lol. what a dick!)
To be honest, i'm not a fan of doing all of this cultural stuff around the city...once you've seen one art gallery you've pretty much seen them all. Many people would probably disagree I know, but its boring!
We went to the zoo last weekend which was ok. The highlight had to be when one of the baboons literally raped another baboon right in front of us. You're probably thinking that's nothing I haven't seen on the BBC half a dozen times before (maybe?). It was until the recipient baboon/victim turned around that I and the 4 young families around me got the shock of their lives. Lets just say it gives a new meaning to the phrase "cream pie", and it wasn't pleasant. And it only took the rapist baboon about 3 seconds too!!
Anyway. Work. Been seeing a lot of patients. Most of them making my life a living hell. So far i've had to try taking a diet history on a patient with short term memory loss (it didn't last long!) , talk to a guy who, reported in the notes, "dislikes" dietitians.......and probably worst of all I said to a terminally ill patient imminent to death "get well soon". I felt bloody stupid and the patient didn't look too happy either.
On a lighter note i thought i'd share a link to an advert i've seen about 100 times on the tv over here and it annoys the f**k out of me every time I see it. Its for Australian Idol and goes to show that they have just as many freaks over here too. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkrPc_FZHbA
The ones that get me most are: The guy at 12 seconds, 25 seconds, 27 seconds, 36 seconds, 39 seconds and 46 seconds...oh and of course the woman at 50 seconds. Take your pick, I know which one annoys me most (25 seconds ginger guy, lol. what a dick!)
Monday, 28 July 2008
"Hotmail"
Another day, another blog.
The Aussie rules football was good but the rules a bit confusing. A half pissed guy sitting next to me tried to explain the rules but all I understood is that it was invented to keep the cricketers fit out of season...sort of explains the shape of the pitch.
Something that was mildly amusing that is worth sharing came from me using one of the girls computers in her room. We were all in her room and I asked if I could check my hotmail. As I typed in "hotmail" up popped the autofiller. It appears that she has been a regular visitor to ww.hotfreesexstories.com. I did the right thing and announced it to everyone else in the room and watch her try all the standard comments I used when my sister did the same to me..."it must be a virus" she said. Bollocks!
Other than that, i've reached the last $11 dollars of the money I brought with me and my credit card didn't work in the supermarket this evening, so I am officially living on supplements that I have taken from the hospital :-( At least I can honestly relate to the patients when I prescribe the supplements to them now!
The Aussie rules football was good but the rules a bit confusing. A half pissed guy sitting next to me tried to explain the rules but all I understood is that it was invented to keep the cricketers fit out of season...sort of explains the shape of the pitch.
Something that was mildly amusing that is worth sharing came from me using one of the girls computers in her room. We were all in her room and I asked if I could check my hotmail. As I typed in "hotmail" up popped the autofiller. It appears that she has been a regular visitor to ww.hotfreesexstories.com. I did the right thing and announced it to everyone else in the room and watch her try all the standard comments I used when my sister did the same to me..."it must be a virus" she said. Bollocks!
Other than that, i've reached the last $11 dollars of the money I brought with me and my credit card didn't work in the supermarket this evening, so I am officially living on supplements that I have taken from the hospital :-( At least I can honestly relate to the patients when I prescribe the supplements to them now!
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Aussie rules
This week has been ok. Getting used to the hospital and getting to know all the staff and wards slowly. They still won't let me anywhere near patients because I haven't had my second Chicken Pox vaccination. I find out tomorrow if my serum levels of the antibodies are high enough to give me immunity from the deadly virus. It is such a pain. In other hospitals they would let me have patient contact but if anyone came in with shingles I should run a mile....but not here. Other than that i'm sitting at a desk learning a lot about surgery, chemo and radiotherapy.
Anyway, I find out tomorrow at 11am what my fate is....fingers crossed.
Aside from work, the girls have planned a surprise for my 22nd birthday this Friday. I had a vague idea that it was something to do with an Aussie Rules match (they wrote a summary of the rules in my birthday card) but wasn't quite sure what they had planned. That was until I met one of their supervisors this afternoon at the other hospital. The first thing she said to me was..."so you're going to the MCG on Friday" (the Wembley Stadium of Melbourne). This instantly destroyed a week's worth of whispering and secrets for the girls. I found it funny but the woman was pretty mortified when she realised what she had done and saw how annoyed the girls were, lol. She couldn't stop apologizing.
The match is sold out so it should be an amazing atmosphere, even though i probably won't have a clue when or why to cheer.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Anyway, I find out tomorrow at 11am what my fate is....fingers crossed.
Aside from work, the girls have planned a surprise for my 22nd birthday this Friday. I had a vague idea that it was something to do with an Aussie Rules match (they wrote a summary of the rules in my birthday card) but wasn't quite sure what they had planned. That was until I met one of their supervisors this afternoon at the other hospital. The first thing she said to me was..."so you're going to the MCG on Friday" (the Wembley Stadium of Melbourne). This instantly destroyed a week's worth of whispering and secrets for the girls. I found it funny but the woman was pretty mortified when she realised what she had done and saw how annoyed the girls were, lol. She couldn't stop apologizing.
The match is sold out so it should be an amazing atmosphere, even though i probably won't have a clue when or why to cheer.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Accents
I've just eaten a lot of kangaroo steak and I actually feel sick. It does taste good though, looks like beef, similar texture and a slightly gamey taste. Nice. From a nutrition point of view it is low in saturated fat, high in monounsaturates and high in Iron. Pretty lean in other words.
So, i've done two days in the Peter Mac Cancer hospital in central Melbourne. Its been good so far but they won't let me anywhere near patients yet. Not because they think i'm going to harm them (although that is a possibility) but because I haven't had Chicken Pox as a kid. I'm told its because of all the immuno-compromised patients at risk...but it's pretty obvious they are just being a bit anal about it. So i'm stuck in an office until Friday treating "virtual patients" with my supervisor. lol.
I'm still going through the small talk phase with all the resident dietitians in the department, telling them where i'm from and how i got the chance to come out here, where I live blah blah...
When I meet new people who don't know me a recurring comment seems to keep coming up, for years now. Apparently I don't have an English accent despite having lived in a leafy suburb in NW London for my entire life. And before you say it, no it's not an Australian one. So far i've had South African, Irish, Australian, New Zealand, and just "foreign" after giving a presentation at uni. Today, however, tops it all. Someone said I had an American accent! Anyone who knows me will find this as ridiculous as I did.
Anyway i'm off to the gym and sauna now to work off some of that Kangaroo. Its so handy having a gym 3 floors below my room, no excuses!
So, i've done two days in the Peter Mac Cancer hospital in central Melbourne. Its been good so far but they won't let me anywhere near patients yet. Not because they think i'm going to harm them (although that is a possibility) but because I haven't had Chicken Pox as a kid. I'm told its because of all the immuno-compromised patients at risk...but it's pretty obvious they are just being a bit anal about it. So i'm stuck in an office until Friday treating "virtual patients" with my supervisor. lol.
I'm still going through the small talk phase with all the resident dietitians in the department, telling them where i'm from and how i got the chance to come out here, where I live blah blah...
When I meet new people who don't know me a recurring comment seems to keep coming up, for years now. Apparently I don't have an English accent despite having lived in a leafy suburb in NW London for my entire life. And before you say it, no it's not an Australian one. So far i've had South African, Irish, Australian, New Zealand, and just "foreign" after giving a presentation at uni. Today, however, tops it all. Someone said I had an American accent! Anyone who knows me will find this as ridiculous as I did.
Anyway i'm off to the gym and sauna now to work off some of that Kangaroo. Its so handy having a gym 3 floors below my room, no excuses!
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Sunday Blues
I don't know why I hate Sundays so much. Maybe its because its cloudy and I think I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) - two winters in one year isn't going to help, lol. Maybe its because I actually start my placement tomorrow - the reason I am here. Or maybe its because for the third bloody day in a row the girls have dragged me around bargain shop after f*****g bargain shop to slowly upgrade their cutlery sets and buy more shoes. Jesus!
I think living with 3 girls is beginning to turn me into a metrosexual. Today for some reason I actually bought a "man-bag" for work. "It's a bargain", they kept saying until I finally caved in. I am in desperate need an injection of pure, unadulterated, testosterone / lager fuelled male orientated BANTER! (and maybe a game of darts?)
I really don't want to start work at the hospital tomorrow. It is going to be so difficult. Not only is my dietetic knowledge limited by default, but ALL of the food and food culture is different here, as you may have noticed if you read my "Pub Culture" post. I just came back from the supermarket with a load of bananas with red tips waxed onto them...what is that about!!
I think living with 3 girls is beginning to turn me into a metrosexual. Today for some reason I actually bought a "man-bag" for work. "It's a bargain", they kept saying until I finally caved in. I am in desperate need an injection of pure, unadulterated, testosterone / lager fuelled male orientated BANTER! (and maybe a game of darts?)
I really don't want to start work at the hospital tomorrow. It is going to be so difficult. Not only is my dietetic knowledge limited by default, but ALL of the food and food culture is different here, as you may have noticed if you read my "Pub Culture" post. I just came back from the supermarket with a load of bananas with red tips waxed onto them...what is that about!!
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Name a price
It has finally rained. When its cloudy and the wind picks up it actually feels like chirstmas here. Apparently some people have christmas parties at this time of year because it feels more festive than the long, hot 41 degree December days. So the girls might be organising that soon :-/
Yesterday we all met up with a true Melbournian ,who my friend Alice met while travelling from Perth to Melbourne. Real nice guy. He gave me an Aussie rules football shirt of the team he supports as his Mum gets him a new one every year. So I am now officially a fan of the Saints (St. Kildas - the Brighton of Melbourne...but in more of a scenic comparison rather than gay!)
So he took us to this restaurant where you pay what you think the food was worth. I went with about $3.50 and was planning on coming back with change for the tram home. Shockingly, it was pretty good and the portions were huge. And of course it was B.Y.O so I went to an off licence and bought what they call a "goon bag". Its one of those 4 litre boxes of wine, but all the tramps take the bag out of the box and sip on it all day. No wonder cos I got 4 litres of white wine for £5. Even the homeless are better off out here!
In the end the girls insisted I pay a half decent amount so I reluctantly parted with the equivalent of £5 for the meal. lol. The guy who took my money looked pretty pissed off.
Right, i'm off to buy some Kangaroo sausages from Safeways. They are meant to be really nice, so that's my dinner sorted for the next 3 nights. Cooking is such an effort here. The kitchen is shit and I dont have any untensils so i've been slowly stealing things from restuarants including so far: a plate, a pint glass, a normal glass, a knife, a fork, a spoon, salt and pepper. I still need a frying pan but that might be more difficult to sneak out of a restaurant .
Yesterday we all met up with a true Melbournian ,who my friend Alice met while travelling from Perth to Melbourne. Real nice guy. He gave me an Aussie rules football shirt of the team he supports as his Mum gets him a new one every year. So I am now officially a fan of the Saints (St. Kildas - the Brighton of Melbourne...but in more of a scenic comparison rather than gay!)
So he took us to this restaurant where you pay what you think the food was worth. I went with about $3.50 and was planning on coming back with change for the tram home. Shockingly, it was pretty good and the portions were huge. And of course it was B.Y.O so I went to an off licence and bought what they call a "goon bag". Its one of those 4 litre boxes of wine, but all the tramps take the bag out of the box and sip on it all day. No wonder cos I got 4 litres of white wine for £5. Even the homeless are better off out here!
In the end the girls insisted I pay a half decent amount so I reluctantly parted with the equivalent of £5 for the meal. lol. The guy who took my money looked pretty pissed off.
Right, i'm off to buy some Kangaroo sausages from Safeways. They are meant to be really nice, so that's my dinner sorted for the next 3 nights. Cooking is such an effort here. The kitchen is shit and I dont have any untensils so i've been slowly stealing things from restuarants including so far: a plate, a pint glass, a normal glass, a knife, a fork, a spoon, salt and pepper. I still need a frying pan but that might be more difficult to sneak out of a restaurant .
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
Pub Culture
Today we ventured out to Melbourne centre one more time. This time we went to the Docklands, which is sort of like the Melbourne equivalent of the London Docklands....lots of new high rise flats, restaurants, bars, water and seagulls. Also saw the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) which looks pretty impressive from the outside (the Meblourne equivalent of Wembley)....really have to try to organise a night out to watch the Aussie Rules Football, even if it is just to see the inside of the stadium.
I've found that pubs are a bit different here. First of all a lot of them are called Hotels, even though they have no rooms to sleep in. A bit confusing if you are actually looking for a hotel for the night! Secondly, a bitter is not a bitter...it is a lager. Thirdly, you can't ask for a pint. I asked for a bitter (actually a lager) and she replied: "do you want a pot, schoona or a stubby". I replied "just a pint is fine, sweatheart". Ok, I didn't say sweatheart.
So she basically called me a Pommy Bastard (apparently a term of affection despite the word bastard!) and explained that:
A) a pot = less than half a pint (the ones you see in Neighbours)
B) a schoona = about half a pint
C) a stubby is a bottle of beer
and D) they dont fucking do pints
I think i'll stick to the wine next time.
I've found that pubs are a bit different here. First of all a lot of them are called Hotels, even though they have no rooms to sleep in. A bit confusing if you are actually looking for a hotel for the night! Secondly, a bitter is not a bitter...it is a lager. Thirdly, you can't ask for a pint. I asked for a bitter (actually a lager) and she replied: "do you want a pot, schoona or a stubby". I replied "just a pint is fine, sweatheart". Ok, I didn't say sweatheart.
So she basically called me a Pommy Bastard (apparently a term of affection despite the word bastard!) and explained that:
A) a pot = less than half a pint (the ones you see in Neighbours)
B) a schoona = about half a pint
C) a stubby is a bottle of beer
and D) they dont fucking do pints
I think i'll stick to the wine next time.
Monday, 14 July 2008
BYO
Thought I would put up a quick post for the day. I spent the entire day walking around Melbourne CBD taking pictures of almost everything. Its got an amazing skyline with the Yarra river running right through the middle. Almost like a mini London...but a lot greener. The weather has been pretty amazing too. It is the middle of winter and it reached a sunny 18 degrees. No tan though.
In the afternoon I met my first cousin once removed, I think?! She is my Dad's cousin, anyway. So she took me for a slap up curry to make me feel more at home. They definitely know how to dine out here! They have something called "BYO" at almost all restaurants, which as you have probably guessed means you just bring your own alcohol and save a sh*t load on the bill. Not only that but that have something called Bottle Shops which are Off Licences. BUT they are drive-thru. You drive into what looks like a Car wash entrance, but when you get into it there are fridges up to the ceiling all around you filled with every beer you can think of. Then you don't even get out of your car, you just un-wind the window and someone serves you! I couldn't believe my eyes!
AND to top it all off...when you get to the restaurant the first thing they say to you is what "complimentary drink would you like?" So a free drink at every meal! We ordered champagne so they ain't fussy.
Shapla...if you're not reading this already, things need to change.
In the afternoon I met my first cousin once removed, I think?! She is my Dad's cousin, anyway. So she took me for a slap up curry to make me feel more at home. They definitely know how to dine out here! They have something called "BYO" at almost all restaurants, which as you have probably guessed means you just bring your own alcohol and save a sh*t load on the bill. Not only that but that have something called Bottle Shops which are Off Licences. BUT they are drive-thru. You drive into what looks like a Car wash entrance, but when you get into it there are fridges up to the ceiling all around you filled with every beer you can think of. Then you don't even get out of your car, you just un-wind the window and someone serves you! I couldn't believe my eyes!
AND to top it all off...when you get to the restaurant the first thing they say to you is what "complimentary drink would you like?" So a free drink at every meal! We ordered champagne so they ain't fussy.
Shapla...if you're not reading this already, things need to change.
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Finally Arrived
Finally. I arrived. What a bitch of a journey. The first flight from London to Dubai (7 hours) went very well. They had great "on-demand" in flight entertainment and I managed to plug my laptop in at my seat so had the use of my computer and 3GB of....."flims".
So when I got on my connection flight to Melbourne (16 hours long) I was a little shocked to see the state of the plane (in comparison it was like the first plane was a Masserati and this one was a Nissan Micra) not to mention the 4 month old baby being breast-fed 4 seats to my left! I was actually swearing to myself so much the gay air steward gave me a dodgy look...or maybe he was just winking at me :-/
Anyway a blog about the flight would be incredibly boring to read.
26 hours Later...
First impressions of Melbourne were very good. Our cab let me name the price for a 20 minute motorway trip from the airport to our halls of residence. The hotel told us it would cost around $50...so I immediately said i'd be happy paying $20 (£10). Not only did the driver accept this ridiculous fare but said that its up to the passenger to say how much they pay and I should "have fun". LOL. I didn't complain.
When we arrived at the address we were given me and the girl I was travelling with, Stav, were both a bit confused because we were standing outside a 4* hotel...not a halls of residence. Turns out it is a hotel where we are staying. They have specially designed minature cells where they put all the students. The rooms are described as "ergonomic"...which as far as I can see means putting a toilet in the shower and whacking a massive mirror on one wall to give the illusion of space. Can't complain though, it's not like i'm paying for it!
On the topic of jet lag, i'm actually doing quite well. A mixture of "anxiolytic drugs" and alcohol are extremely effective at making me sleep. We wanted to buy sleeping tablets in Dubai airport but instead the woman behind the counter gave us these tablets which would normally be on prescription in the UK. I read the leaflet inside and it said they are normally given before a general anaesthetic to induce sedation! I can get some on the way back if anyone wants to pre order?
Well, there is a little update for you. I'm off to explore Melbourne a bit now and buy some "essentials" to live on while i'm out here.
So when I got on my connection flight to Melbourne (16 hours long) I was a little shocked to see the state of the plane (in comparison it was like the first plane was a Masserati and this one was a Nissan Micra) not to mention the 4 month old baby being breast-fed 4 seats to my left! I was actually swearing to myself so much the gay air steward gave me a dodgy look...or maybe he was just winking at me :-/
Anyway a blog about the flight would be incredibly boring to read.
26 hours Later...
First impressions of Melbourne were very good. Our cab let me name the price for a 20 minute motorway trip from the airport to our halls of residence. The hotel told us it would cost around $50...so I immediately said i'd be happy paying $20 (£10). Not only did the driver accept this ridiculous fare but said that its up to the passenger to say how much they pay and I should "have fun". LOL. I didn't complain.
When we arrived at the address we were given me and the girl I was travelling with, Stav, were both a bit confused because we were standing outside a 4* hotel...not a halls of residence. Turns out it is a hotel where we are staying. They have specially designed minature cells where they put all the students. The rooms are described as "ergonomic"...which as far as I can see means putting a toilet in the shower and whacking a massive mirror on one wall to give the illusion of space. Can't complain though, it's not like i'm paying for it!
On the topic of jet lag, i'm actually doing quite well. A mixture of "anxiolytic drugs" and alcohol are extremely effective at making me sleep. We wanted to buy sleeping tablets in Dubai airport but instead the woman behind the counter gave us these tablets which would normally be on prescription in the UK. I read the leaflet inside and it said they are normally given before a general anaesthetic to induce sedation! I can get some on the way back if anyone wants to pre order?
Well, there is a little update for you. I'm off to explore Melbourne a bit now and buy some "essentials" to live on while i'm out here.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
The Journey Begins...
Ok, so this journey to Australia has been planned for about 2 months now and it's nearly here. I'm pretty excited about it all. I mean its the furthest I have ever travelled, and probably will be unless I decide to take a trip to the South Pole (or maybe New Zealand thinking about it).
I've said most of my goodbye's now....lets not get carried away, i'm only going for 3 months not forever, but these people are like my brothers (and sisters) so it has been a pretty emotional three days for me. I've been hiding the tears well I think, they'll never suspect it.
Unfortunately my journey with Emirates has got off to a shakey start. Online check-in sounds like a great idea, at least that is what I thought. You can check in online 24 hours before your flight, so for me that was 2pm. However, I had been invited to a last minute Karahi Curry down town Eastcote and couldn't resist so I thought that i'd just check in at 2:30 pm when I returned....no big deal? MISTAKE. It seems that everyone else on the bloody plane checked in online in those 30 minutes when I was stuffing my face with mediocre (cheap @ £5) chicken curry.
So while I was staring at the screen, bemused by the fact that all the good seats had gone, the "session" timed out. When I tried to log back in it said that I had already checked in, which I hadn't, and it wouldn't let me do anything! So now I have no printed confirmation which it says I need, no idea what seats i'm in and no idea whether i'm anywhere near the person i'm travelling with. Never Mind, i'll have to sort it out tomorrow at the airport.
Moral of the Blog: Don't fly with Emirates...actually that's probably a bit harsh. The real moral is: Check in 23 hours and 59 seconds before your departure time to ensure you get a seat...somewhere.
I've said most of my goodbye's now....lets not get carried away, i'm only going for 3 months not forever, but these people are like my brothers (and sisters) so it has been a pretty emotional three days for me. I've been hiding the tears well I think, they'll never suspect it.
Unfortunately my journey with Emirates has got off to a shakey start. Online check-in sounds like a great idea, at least that is what I thought. You can check in online 24 hours before your flight, so for me that was 2pm. However, I had been invited to a last minute Karahi Curry down town Eastcote and couldn't resist so I thought that i'd just check in at 2:30 pm when I returned....no big deal? MISTAKE. It seems that everyone else on the bloody plane checked in online in those 30 minutes when I was stuffing my face with mediocre (cheap @ £5) chicken curry.
So while I was staring at the screen, bemused by the fact that all the good seats had gone, the "session" timed out. When I tried to log back in it said that I had already checked in, which I hadn't, and it wouldn't let me do anything! So now I have no printed confirmation which it says I need, no idea what seats i'm in and no idea whether i'm anywhere near the person i'm travelling with. Never Mind, i'll have to sort it out tomorrow at the airport.
Moral of the Blog: Don't fly with Emirates...actually that's probably a bit harsh. The real moral is: Check in 23 hours and 59 seconds before your departure time to ensure you get a seat...somewhere.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Honorary Shift at Terminal 5
Students have a tough time these days. Term time is packed full of unreasonable deadlines, 9-5 lectures in dark, sweaty rooms and of course...exams. But then there are the holidays, accounting for about 6 months of the year. It is the paradox of being a student - you spend all year looking forward to these holidays, you almost can't think of anything else - but after 3 days of doing absolutely nothing but clicking the refresh button on your facebook homepage the boredom begins to get painful (I was close to tears when I was forced to watch Richard and Judy through shear boredom).
So yesterday I was determined not to become the shivvering wreck of a man I was the day before. It started well. I woke up 20 minutes late and jumped into my car to pick my mate J up at 800 hours to go to the gym and pump some iron. Unfortunately I had to retire early after only 2 sets with an acute bout of unstable angina. I'm not a lazy person but it bloody hurt!
When driving J home he reminded me of a drunken proposition I made to him two nights before. To beat the boredom we both cam up with the idea that I should join him at one of his shifts at T5 Heathrow - He works on the floor landside so I could just hang around with him, pretend I was a clueless passenger (they all are!) and probably have a couple of pints in the pub behind the check in desks.
Weird! That is what I thought, but a once in a lifetime oppurtunity and would provide material for a half decent blog at the very least.
So there I was, standing in the middle of T5 with J sporadically pointing towards signs to make it look like I was lost and he was helping. The first 1-2 hours of my honorary shift went well. J had a good "task" so we just stood around the Self Check-In desks looking at how many Wu's, Chan's and Wong's were on the flight to Hong Kong and if we knew any celebs on the first class flight to LA.
China may be a super-power about to take over the world but the country has no imagination when it comes surnames...15 Wu's and 18 Wong's and too many Chan's to count...all on the same flight!
As for first class, Josh Hartnett was due to check in in about 15 minutes...great news if your are a 16 year old girl or gay (don't get me wrong - he was very good in Black Hawk Down and Lucky Number Slevin). Anyway, somehow we missed Joshy, not sure how as he would have had to walk straight past us. Never Mind.
To cut an already long story short - ended up in pub, 3 pints down waiting for that ugly, skinny, noodle-armed Murray get spanked by Nadal at Wimbledon. The journalists of the daily newspapers must have been on Crack. One headline read "How to muscle up like Murray" - have these people heard of Dorian Yates...obviously not!
Moral of the story: Being in an airport defintely helps beat the boredom, I think it is something to do with being around 100's of other people who are just as f*****g bored - the only difference is in 24 hours they will be somewhere sunny and i'll be at home watching Richard and Judy :-/
So yesterday I was determined not to become the shivvering wreck of a man I was the day before. It started well. I woke up 20 minutes late and jumped into my car to pick my mate J up at 800 hours to go to the gym and pump some iron. Unfortunately I had to retire early after only 2 sets with an acute bout of unstable angina. I'm not a lazy person but it bloody hurt!
When driving J home he reminded me of a drunken proposition I made to him two nights before. To beat the boredom we both cam up with the idea that I should join him at one of his shifts at T5 Heathrow - He works on the floor landside so I could just hang around with him, pretend I was a clueless passenger (they all are!) and probably have a couple of pints in the pub behind the check in desks.
Weird! That is what I thought, but a once in a lifetime oppurtunity and would provide material for a half decent blog at the very least.
So there I was, standing in the middle of T5 with J sporadically pointing towards signs to make it look like I was lost and he was helping. The first 1-2 hours of my honorary shift went well. J had a good "task" so we just stood around the Self Check-In desks looking at how many Wu's, Chan's and Wong's were on the flight to Hong Kong and if we knew any celebs on the first class flight to LA.
China may be a super-power about to take over the world but the country has no imagination when it comes surnames...15 Wu's and 18 Wong's and too many Chan's to count...all on the same flight!
As for first class, Josh Hartnett was due to check in in about 15 minutes...great news if your are a 16 year old girl or gay (don't get me wrong - he was very good in Black Hawk Down and Lucky Number Slevin). Anyway, somehow we missed Joshy, not sure how as he would have had to walk straight past us. Never Mind.
To cut an already long story short - ended up in pub, 3 pints down waiting for that ugly, skinny, noodle-armed Murray get spanked by Nadal at Wimbledon. The journalists of the daily newspapers must have been on Crack. One headline read "How to muscle up like Murray" - have these people heard of Dorian Yates...obviously not!
Moral of the story: Being in an airport defintely helps beat the boredom, I think it is something to do with being around 100's of other people who are just as f*****g bored - the only difference is in 24 hours they will be somewhere sunny and i'll be at home watching Richard and Judy :-/
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Blog of a Male Dietitian (Down Under) : The Beginning
Ok. Lets get a couple of things straight about the world of dietetics first.
1. A Dietitan is a respectable health profession, we are under-paid but not really over-worked (because obese people tend not to turn up to appointments…most of the time).
2. We do more than just tell people to eat breakfast and have 5-a-day…but we do do that A LOT.
3. Generally, I don’t eat healthily…but I tell patients I do.
4. And finally, I have no idea why there are so few male dietitians – 2 out of approximately 40 in my year and apparently only 1% of all dietitians are male (NB these figures may be slightly inaccurate). Its not a gay profession…although I’m pretty damn sure there are some out there.
So if that hasn’t put you off completely, this is my blog. I decided to start it because a lot of my friends have started one and I didn’t want to be the loser who didn’t do one. But if this blog is anything like some of theirs, this will probably be my one and only entry. Lets hope not.
And as you have probably guessed, I am going to Australia to preach as a male dietitian for the summer (their winter). My uni are paying for it – and probably so are you through you or your parents taxes, I know, I still can’t believe it myself.
So if you want to see what I’m doing with all your money i’ll try my best to update this regularly, starting with a blog about that disturbingly long 25hr flight - There better not be a crying baby sitting behind me.
1. A Dietitan is a respectable health profession, we are under-paid but not really over-worked (because obese people tend not to turn up to appointments…most of the time).
2. We do more than just tell people to eat breakfast and have 5-a-day…but we do do that A LOT.
3. Generally, I don’t eat healthily…but I tell patients I do.
4. And finally, I have no idea why there are so few male dietitians – 2 out of approximately 40 in my year and apparently only 1% of all dietitians are male (NB these figures may be slightly inaccurate). Its not a gay profession…although I’m pretty damn sure there are some out there.
So if that hasn’t put you off completely, this is my blog. I decided to start it because a lot of my friends have started one and I didn’t want to be the loser who didn’t do one. But if this blog is anything like some of theirs, this will probably be my one and only entry. Lets hope not.
And as you have probably guessed, I am going to Australia to preach as a male dietitian for the summer (their winter). My uni are paying for it – and probably so are you through you or your parents taxes, I know, I still can’t believe it myself.
So if you want to see what I’m doing with all your money i’ll try my best to update this regularly, starting with a blog about that disturbingly long 25hr flight - There better not be a crying baby sitting behind me.
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